All I’ve been hearing is that 2020 is a “crazy year.” It is crazy because who would have thought that we would go home for spring break, and never go back? ~ Aaliyah P.
(Photo: Aaliyah P and her mother Shari)
By Aaliyah P. - Student Editorial Board
(Aaliyah is a Humboldt High School 12th grader that wants her voice to be heard in regards to Distance Learning and the struggles and challenges that all families face during the ratchet COVID-19 pandemic.)
2020 has been such a ‘crazy year’ and the reason why I add quotation marks is that to me life is life. This is all so crazy because I did not expect to spend my senior year in my room with my bonnet on and stuffed animals. I have been feeling strained, stressed, and unheard because I have not been feeling stimulation; ignite, chunk, chew, and review means nothing when you're a high school senior forced to live as an adult because of my family's economic well-being depends on my minimum wage job. The state politicians have forgotten about us, more so, economically challenged neighborhoods and high school scholars.
I know I am a hard-working scholar, and I need to get all A’s in my senior year to get into college (I want to attend Hamline University with my best friend), but then I get very distracted and feel interruptions; like life.
To be totally honest with you, I never admired Humboldt High School.
I never even wanted to go here, so distance learning isn’t all that terrible. Me not being able to go to school my senior year does bother me, and I dislike it because I don’t have my teachers in the same class as me showing me how to do the assignments or telling me to get off my phone. Another reason why I dislike distance learning is that my parents also work from home, and everybody is on the WiFi all at once so sometimes we have to disconnect from the wifi so I can’t finish my assignments.
On the other hand, I like distance learning because I can get rest and sleep in longer, I can wear all my pajamas all day, and don’t have to worry about walking in the cold. Distance learning showed me my real friends because when I saw people I used to be friends with they wouldn’t speak to me, and distance learning made a lot of stress off my shoulders go away that’s another reason why distance learning isn’t all that horrible and more relaxing. I don’t feel as annoyed as I did when I was in Humboldt.
Humboldt gave me a lot of solitude, and I do not use that word lightly. In school, I was pressured to do things I was not ready for, so I acted out. I felt like I had to be mean, unapproachable to most; I wanted to be horrid, snooty, rudy, “censored,” thot, bop, etc. In school, people called me a “good girl.” I liked boys, of course, I’m a girl, yes I’ve thought about “sex,” yes I thought about having it, but NO STOP, I am the “good girl” because right now, I’m focusing on entering a university campus when I graduate in 2021 and being barefoot and pregnant would just make me another Black-girl statistic. I’m not having it!
I dislike the fact that COVID-19 is the reason why I cannot walk the stage or have my high school prom - yeah the music might be lame, but I want to live, breathe our non-dream prom. The fact I can’t make my unseen dream come true sets me back into deep thought about Humboldt and how this year would be if we all were in school.
Sometimes, Humboldt made me feel like I’m in this bubble but nobody could demolish it. I’ve always kept my head up high walking around that school, I never let my crown down for anybody. I’m not going to lie, my crown fell a couple times but I held on strong. My high school days now are like a non-stop roller coaster. I will have days when it is just too much; the fake friends, suspects (not my friends), and a small few like my family and closest friends that I have to rely on to make it.
Only a few teachers have made distance learning bearable. Now, distance learning has us bored, idle and doesn’t connect with our reality of being at home and I really think nobody cares. My little brother is struggling with everything - he’s a social butterfly (just like me) who’s been grounded, ignored, and abandoned by a system that is not run by people that look like us. Again, the evolution of Jim Crow sits at our doorsteps. Distance learning has also made it bad for the kids who have problems at home, and school was their escape; breakfast, lunch, and snacks. So kids start to smoke, drink and do pills and very other hard drugs. All of this going on while my Grandpa just had a heart attack and other family members are passing away and we cannot go to the funerals.
My peers don’t like to overthink. Distance learning and the lack of support has sent many of my friends to use drugs to get away from their suicidal thoughts. Girls try to find love at school and some girls try to find that love with boys or the same gender. Sometimes us kids, teenagers, and young adults feel like we don’t have love and feel judged by their parents. We try to escape our problems by drinking and smoking, some of us don’t just smoke and drink to escape our problems, sometimes we do it to have fun. No, I’m not saying smoking and drinking should be the only way to have fun, but that’s what kids do nowadays. Distance learning made me closer to my best friend. When I met her I met her before Humboldt and way before distance learning she made this distance learning and COVID-19 easier to get by she made me happy and motivated to do better in life she is my other half my rock, I’ll get more about her and her family in my next story.
I wouldn’t want to be in school right now anyway with COVID-19. I would rather be home in my room with my family and my stuffed animal.
In closing, Humboldt high school wasn’t all that terrible, the school taught me the good, the bad, and the crazy side of life. I have relationship problems that I did not have to put myself through, but I learned. I learned about violence - and no Humboldt High School wasn’t the only school to show me and teach me about life, I had learned a lot about life at Creative Arts Secondary School. I met some strong educated people and my principal and teachers were on my case.
What I do know is at the end of the day I can succeed in life and not slack. Humboldt also showed me how to be a leader and not to be a follower, and to take my own path I have met some strong hard-working students who motivated me. My best friend is a hard-working girl who is very bright and smart. She can pass a test when she does a test, she motivates me to keep going. Yes, me...and she can get distracted with the fun wildlife but we keep in mind we have to graduate and accomplish our goals. I know how to stay on track but I can get distracted but that will not stop me from graduating from high school - distance learning 2.0 or not. I want to make my strong Mother, Father, brothers, and other family members happy for me, but sometimes I don’t feel Humboldt is always in my corner.
